Some parents who have extra breast milk decide to donate it directly to another family in need. This is referred to as milk sharing, and here’s what to think about if you are considering donating or receiving breast milk informally.
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What is milk sharing?
Milk sharing is families sharing breast milk among themselves without going through a milk bank.
Often what this looks like is that one family has extra breast milk, and may not qualify to donate that extra milk to a HMBANA milk bank. (I was in this situation, as I was taking a medication – Zoloft – that is safe for breastfeeding but disqualified me from donating.)
This family may give their extra milk to another family in their community, or they may find someone to donate to on an online milk sharing community.
Common questions for parents interested in receiving shared breast milk
When some parents do not have enough breast milk for their baby, they supplement with donor milk. I asked on Instagram if my followers had received donated breast milk, and below are the responses:
Here are some things to consider if you are interested in receiving breast milk via milk sharing.
Is milk sharing safe?
Eats on Feets has identified four pillars of safe breast milk sharing. These include:
- Informed choice – Is milk sharing a good idea for your family? Do you understand the risks of milk sharing and the potential benefits, as well as the risks and benefits of other infant feeding options?
- Donor screening – Donors with communicable diseases (such as HIV), in poor general health, taking a medication contraindicated for breastfeeding, struggling to meet the needs of their own baby, etc. should self-exclude from milk sharing. Breast milk recipients should communicate with donors about medications and drug and alcohol use. If possible, a blood screening should be performed.
- Safe handling – Breasts should be inspected prior to pumping, and breast pump parts and bottles should be washed properly, and milk should be stored according to breast milk storage guidelines.
- Pasteurization – Some parents prefer to pasteurize shared milk at home, while others prefer to feed raw milk.
It’s a good idea to do some reading about potential risks and benefits of milk sharing. Eats on Feets has a good summary of risks that you can review as a starting point.
How do I find milk that others are willing to share?
I asked on Instagram, and many parents recommended Human Milk 4 Human Babies on Facebook (there may be a group local to you if you do a search).
Others connected through Eats on Feets or local parenting message boards.
Finally, many people received donated milk from family or friends.
What do I owe the donor?
This is between you and the donor. Some donors want to be compensated for their time pumping milk, while others would prefer to give their milk away.
Many breast milk recipients will replace the breast milk bags that their donor filled and provided to them, so that the donor has no out-of-pocket cost.
Common questions for parents interested in donating breast milk via milk sharing
Many parents with oversupply choose to donate their extra milk. Here is how people responded to the question as to whether they had donated milk:
Is it safe?
As a donor, there are a few things to consider with regard to safety.
- Are you able to meet the needs of both yourself and your own baby if you’re donating your breast milk? (For example, if you’re having to do extra pumping and it’s making you stressed and irritable, consider whether you should continue.)
- Are you donating of your own free will, or are you feeling coerced or obligated to donate?
- Are you concerned about legal exposure if your milk were to potentially make a donor baby sick? (This is unlikely, and it’s never happened to my knowledge, but it’s not impossible.)
How do I find people to donate to?
The resources highlighted above, such as Human Milk for Human Babies, Eats on Feets, or local parenting groups is where I would recommend starting.
What do I owe the recipient?
The primary thing that a breast milk donor owes the recipient is honesty – about any medications you’re taking, any questions that they ask about your lifestyle, etc.
Also, this goes without saying, but watering breast milk down with cow’s milk or anything else to increase the volume could harm the recipient baby and is absolutely unacceptable.
Have you donated or received breast milk via milk sharing? Tell us your experience in the comments!
Comments & Chitchat
Mom in need says
From a mom who is an exclusive pumper and has battled a low supply since my daughter was born (I only pump about 1/2 of what she needs for the day), and have tried every supplement, and power pumping and met with LC after LC, I appreciate those who donate to a milk bank or informally! Since my daughter was premature, we were able to purchase milk from the milk banks, but the reason the process for milk banks is rigorous and time consuming is because this milk is exclusively used for premature babies (or at least the milk banks we worked with ohio, kansas, michigan), you can not get milk from a milk bank without a prescription and diagnosis from your pediatrician. Once my daughter hit “full term” we were no longer eligible to get milk from the milk banks and had to transition to informal donation. Just a note for those looking to donate milk. Human milk 4 human babies is a great place to link people up and is also on facebook by state.
Stephanie B says
Thanks for the information about that organization! I was not aware that it existed. I actually will be informally donating to a friend of a friend in a few weeks. My Mom is flying out for a visit and will be checking the milk cooler with the airline as a checked piece of luggage on her return trip. I am already nervous that they will damage it or lose it! But I figure it will be less travel time than mailing it.
The Extreme Pumper says
Ah, I hadn’t realized that is was only for preemies. That makes sense! Thanks for the info. 🙂
That sucks that you’ve had a hard time with supply, it sounds like you’ve worked really hard. I hope you’ll be able to get as much informally donated milk as you need!
The Extreme Pumper says
I totally agree that the whole process to be approved as a donor was too cumbersome. I understand they need to make sure you are healthy and everything, but with a baby to take care of plus having to pump all the time, it was just too much.
That’s funny about writing up a waiver! I think that is actually a good idea as long as you told the person about it over email beforehand. If they thought it was weird they could always not go through with accepting the milk. 🙂
Stephanie B says
Wow. Your post could not have been more timely! So I tried being a donor for the only milk bank in the Pacific Northwest. And I did not go through with the application because after an initial phone interview, they said they would not accept milk while on Fenugreek. The Fenugreek milk was what I wanted to donate because it was the oldest and in small ounce increments (which would be less convenient to thaw multiple bags for one feed, since my baby is older and drinks more). Then they said they would accept milk if I had drank alcohol moderately (I have never pumped and dumped because I never have more than one beer). But they said from now on I should separate my milk and they would only take milk 12 hours after alcohol consumption. To me, that felt inconsistent. They would take my frozen milk from before I knew their policy? But now I should follow the rule? To me, either the alcohol poses a risk or it doesn’t. So I decided not to donate. I enjoy an occasional beer and to be honest, pumping is enough work without having to separate my milk afterwards. And in a sleep deprived state, what if I would make a mistake and not separate it? Also, the whole process to be approved as a donor seemed rather cumbersome. The application was extremely long and detailed and I might have had to drive to another city to get labwork done (I understand from their perspective why they must have these policies…).
When we went on vacation to visit family a few months ago, I left a small amount of milk in my parents’ freezer because I did not want the hassle of transporting it cross country on our trip home. And my Mom informally donated it to a family friend whose baby was in need. At home, I have 700 ounces in my deep freeze. And while my hope is to maybe quit pumping earlier than planned and to use up my freezer stash, I would not be opposed to informally donating some. Plus, I have a feeling I will pump longer than I think…
Like you, I worry about liability. I wonder if it would be too awkward to write up a little waiver for the person accepting to sign? I suppose it depends if the person was known to you or a complete stranger.
Plus, I have a paranoia of our deep freeze dying! 🙂 We don’t have a generator in case of a power outage. At least the temperatures outside here are about the same as the deep freeze anyways! But sometimes I worry about it all going to waste somehow.